Gritty Hope

  Aug 5, 2020 Ephesians 3:20 has been a favorite verses for a long time, but have to admit I misused and understood it for years. The cool thing is that God taught me the real meaning through life before I read it with the context in mind. For most of my life I've thought about this verse in terms of the plan for my physical life and the abundance of his provision. I believe that God has a wonderful plan for my life, but I didn’t think about that fact that his plan won’t be complete until Jesus returns. I had a very short minded view of his plan for me. I also thought about the plan for me in isolation from the rest of the world. But his plan is so much bigger and better than that. It’s bigger than me. It’s bigger than you. It’s bigger than the people we love.   When we go back and start reading from verse 14 we can see more of the meaning of verse 20: “When I think of all this, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father,   the Creator of everything in heaven and...

So many dates are hard after a loss. Anniversaries, birthdays, due dates, holidays, and lots of little reminders can bring on strong emotion unexpectedly. The day before what should have been Toby’s due date, we had some friends come over for dinner. I didn't think about the timing until a couple days before. As we ate I enjoyed watching their three month old wiggle and smile. After I finished eating, I asked if I could hold him. I did not think anything of it when I reached my arms out to pick him up. I greatly underestimated how hard holding him would be. As I stood there rocking him, I went from having a couple tears roll down my cheek, to all out sobbing with snot running down my nose. I was so glad that I had reminded Luke of the date before that moment, so he was able to fill them in.  There was something about feeling his little body nestled against mine and feeling his warmth that brought on a wave of grief that I did not expect. It hit me hard that I would never get to fee...