Suffering

     Suffering. Doesn’t that word just make you feel warm and fuzzy inside? I know, me neither. Suffering is a tough word. It is something that we all have faced, are facing, or will face. It’s one of the hardest things to explain and sometimes we never get an answer to the question of “Why?” As Christians, I think there is often another layer added to whatever pain we are experiencing. Often we feel like we need to be “Okay.” We hear that we need to trust God more or believe for a miracle, but what happens when in the midst of our belief and our trusting in God, tragedy still strikes. What happens when the miracle doesn’t happen?  When the loved one still dies? When the sickness doesn’t get better? When the relationship still ends?  When the pain still hurts? What then?

      That is something I have wrestled with a lot in the last few months. My wrestling has had less to do with whether or not God is still good, and more about how to respond. I am having to figure out how to put one step in front of the other and move forward. In my search for truth, I have talked to friends, family, and pastors. I have studied the Scriptures and have read several books. Along the way I have been encouraged my several persistent ideas.

1. God’s plan is bigger than me and bigger than this life.

2. Healing can happen even when our situations don’t change for the better.

3. Our life as believers is more about becoming more Christ like than finding relief from our pain.

4. God can use every pain we experience for good.

5. I don’t have to understand.

I found out we were losing another baby a few days before our state shut down due to the corona virus. It was kind of weird and frustrating to have the whole country (…and world) starting to deal with suffering at the same time. The frustrating part was that I wanted my suffering to be unique. I didn’t want to have another person’s grief to think about. But beyond my selfish desire to be alone in my grief, I found an unexpected blessing. So many of the sermons I heard and posts I saw on Facebook were related to suffering. I heard messages about God taking us through painful situations instead of taking away the situations. I heard about God’s plan being bigger than our story.  I was challenged to read Philippians while keeping in mind that the author was in prison while writing those words. I was constantly being challenged with regard to my view on suffering. The expanse of writing about suffering that I stumbled across was humbling. It is not new. It is not rare. It’s not just my weight to carry.

The good part is that suffering is not fruitless, if we are followers of Christ. Good can come out of it. That doesn’t mean that our suffering is good or even that our suffering is something that God wanted for our lives, but it does mean that our suffering won’t go to waste. Romans 8:28 has been a favorite verse of mine for several years. It says: “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose (NKJV).” Some people dislike that verse because they feel like it minimizes their pain, but for me I find it to be a very hopeful verse. If I have to go through pain, I want there to at least be something good to come out of it! Pain will be there either way, so come on lemonade! I like that the verse doesn’t say “I will work all things together for good.” It says God will. I don’t have to worry about how I am going to make good out of it, I have to wait on the Lord and trust that He will be faithful to His promises.

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